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Letters from afar DO build desire and always have, but only AFTER real passion from real-life encounters has already been established between a man and woman, NOT as a cowardly substitute way of creating that passion in the first place (by ducking your shame).

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***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

I've got a question. Your stuff is great; it makes a lot of sense. However, how do you transform it into reality? I mean, I perfectly understand what I need to do but when push comes to shove I always get nervous and, as a result, always screw up. What's a secret to keeping calm? And don't tell me "experience" because this very problem is the only obstacle against getting experience in the first place.

Thanks, J, Brooklyn, NY

» MY COMMENTS:

I know what you're saying here.

The answer is to start small.

Don't worry about what anyone else is doing, or what anyone else thinks.

Just go out for a day, and go to a mall alone.

Walk into every store in the mall, and start a conversation with a woman that works there.

Don't worry about whether the woman is good looking, married, or whatever.

You're just practicing.

At first, let them start the conversations.

When they say "Can I help you find something?" reply with "Yes, that would be great. I'm looking for joy, peace, and a rich girlfriend. Do you have any of those here?" Say it with a straight face, like a comedian would.

After you've done this 20 times, reflect on what you learned. Think about what worked and what didn't. Think about the conversations that took place as a result.

Take a break, and walk down to a department store, and spray some cologne on each wrist. On your right wrist spray Dolce and Gabanna, and on your left spray Armani Aqua Di Gio.

Next, walk into 20 more stores. This time, try to make DIRECT eye contact with the first woman you see that works there, and HOLD it until she either starts talking to you, or she looks away. Then walk over to her, and say "Hi, I need a female perspective on something. Which of these colognes do you like better?"

Then, when she chooses one, shake your head and look at her with a disapproving look and say "You would."

Then give her a sly smile, and say "Why do you like it better? I want to be a chick magnet here, so tell me what you're thinking".

If you do this exactly as I've described, you will have "gotten started", and you'll have a base of experience to work from.

By the way, if any of the women are CUTE, feel free to say "Hey, I have to go. Do you have email?"